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" No, I'm serious."We paused the conversation long enough to get into the car, then joined the start-stop exodus out of the parking lot."Lee, I don't delude myself..." About what? Having a brain?" Fifty pounds extra. Pizza face." Who carries on a great conversation. If I was interested, which I wasn't, I would've asked 'im." And if he says no and starts laughing?" Then that's a bit of data. And you'll know. Right now you don't know." I could be crushed." You could be. Would it be the first. . you have never so much as been on a date or held hands with a boy, but you aren't a virgin now?... Josephine, did you press up on another girl?"(her)- "No. That would have been better, less manic. What really worried me as far as talking about sex and relationships with Justin was that if he thought that I had sex before, he would likely ask some questions about who I had done it with. This is a small town, we have both been here for years- he would want to know who it was..."I was really. After putting it on, he undressed me but retained on me the newest acquisition, then took me in a fury. Finished, we snacked, I redressed, then rushed home to greet the kids as they returned from school. It was short-time branding, a quickie and return to mom and wife. Usually, the new acquisition stayed behind in his apartment closet or dresser, parts of my expanded mannequin presence which soon overflowed onto a portable clothes rack and into a second dresser A few Friday nights with Edward. Not as young Deacon, the boy child, but as Deacon the man, the killer. I could no longer claim to be fulfilling my duty by smiles and delicate gestures of my wrist. I had to be a man and do a man's work. Violent work. Ugly work. It was just an execution, I told myself, much as had been done to Bareth and my uncles. Yet it was murder, too. It was well within my abilities as Deacon, I told myself, but I felt much more like Cherysse. Perhaps for the first time, I really wanted to be.
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